As if I don’t have enough problems. The goddamn Steelers are world champions and the Steeler Nation will become even more unbearable, if such a thing is possible.

But I can’t let that stop me. We’re on a fucking roll.

Internet Icon Dave McAwesome joins our Ranks this week with not one, but two shitty blogs. You’ll have to bear with Dave, he’s just come out of a long period of denial. For the longest time, he refused to admit that his site, Maximum Awesome, was a blog and that he was just another Shitty Blogger. This week Dave stands before us and says, “My name is Dave and I’m a Shitty Blogger.”

So, join me in saying, “Hi Dave.”
There is plenty of coffee and we’ll all go out for a smoke when we are done here. But please, no hugging.
I mean it.

Now that Dave has come clean, he’s added another shitty blog to the mix, Crap or Not Crap. The Shitty Blogs Club was found to be Not Crap. Okay, maybe Dave still suffers some denial.

Keep those memberships rolling in and someone should wake up those missing members. I’m sure they wouldn’t want to miss this.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

I had a membership drive and actually gained members.

I KNOW!

I’m as shocked as you are.

Please welcome Chad and Kewl. They blog. They’re not necessarily good at it.

And while I’m at it… where the hell is Gus Greeper? And CJ Hixon? Shouldn’t they be here. I think they should be.

Mango is not impressed with yet another revival of the SBC. I guess I should call the whole thing off.

Whatever.

I don’t care. This is stupid, I know that. I mean think about it… it’s called the Shitty Blogs Club. OF COURSE IT IS STUPID!

It’s simple. Sign up or not. Put a button on your blog or not. Listen to Shitty Blog Radio… or not. Talk shit in the forums… or… you guessed… or not.

I’m disappointed. I mentioned Survivor and Monty didn’t even flinch. Maybe she’s to good for us now. Or perhaps, I’ve teased the survivor thing one to many times.

Keep those new members coming. And Be Proud. Be Shitty!

(A rabid monkey, hopped on caffeine will be standing by to take your call.)

Do you know what I hate?

Well besides clowns, women drivers, rednecks, Starbucks, Work, winter, political correctness, mommy bloggers, sitcoms, country music, New Year’s Resolutions, Birthday Parties, Nascar…

Okay, you get the point.

I hate it when I hear the ‘Media’ talk about blogging. They always reduce it to some form of amateur journalism. Sure there are some bloggers who have used the medium in just that way, and hats off to them. But I don’t think that does blogging justice. I think plenty of people blog just cause they feel like they have something to say.

They may not how to say it, or even what exactly it is. Yet they try to say it.

To me this is, at the same time, what is great and awful about blogging. Literally, millions of people who may or may not have any ability to write; who may or may not have any idea what they want to say; who may or may not have even thought out what it is they are trying to do.

Chances are that they ran across a blog or had a friend that blogs or read about it somewhere and thought to themselves, I can do this… I should do this!

It’s not hard to set one up, you can do it for free, there is nothing stopping you. And so they set them up. And then they blog, whatever that means.

The resultant blogs are as varied as the people who ‘write’ them. These blogs, more often than not, don’t provide some useful or necessary information. They aren’t well written and edited masterpieces. They just are. Occasionally, something wonderful comes out, but mostly it just is.

That’s where the Shitty Blogs Club comes in. We not only understand this, we embrace it. We think blogging is just like life: occasionally interesting, but mostly shitty. On any given day most blogs are shitty. They have more meme than content. They are just plain neglected. They are whiny. They have more style than content. They have more content than style. Some bloggers will get defensive. “My Blog is a big Deal! It is an award winning blog! It is going to a)bring in ad revenue b) land me a book deal c) bring me fame and fortune or d) some other unlikely goal.”

But many of us get it. We know that this blogging is just something we do for good, bad or (most likely) ugly.

This club is for those who get it.

If you join this club, I personally promise that it will never help you make a dime, it will not increase your traffic or SEO, it will never get you noticed by editors, publishers or the Media.

There is only one reason to join this club. It’s to make a stand and say to the so-called blogosphere: I have a blog and it is mostly shitty, and I am proud of it.

This club has been, erm, dormant for a while. It’s time to kick some life back into it. Existing members: recruit new members! You surely know some bloggers who ‘get it,’ send them here! Potential new members: Read the FAQ and then read this. If you still want to join, go here.

Once you are a member, you can enjoy then benefits of Membership: Not listening to Shitty Blog Radio; not posting in the forum; not buying Shitty Blog stuff; and not participating in games and contests.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

“The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, something to hope for.”

At least that is according to the magnet someone randomly stuck up by register 2 at work.

Maybe its just ‘cause I’m lazy but I figured that 3 things were just too much work and that the world would be a much happier place in a much quicker time if those 3 essentials could all be boiled down into one.

After about a half a minute of thought between customers, I decided that blogging could cover it all.

1.  Something to DO

Once upon a time people went to work and worked there and when they came home they had hobbies.  They did such thrilling things as stamp collecting or building tiny ships in glass bottles.  Sometimes they made moonshine in their bathtubs or grew perfectly seasoned larvae infested cheeses in their basements.

Then bad things happened.  E-mail meant fewer stamps, alcohol was legalized again, shrink rays were invented to miniaturize huge ships to tiny bottle sizes, and reality televison shows claimed all the maggot infested cheeses for their programs.

All of a sudden there as nothing left to do, except watch those same reality shows or playing World of Warcraft.

Then blogging was born and we were never without anything to DO again.  When worse comes to worse you can create a blog about how you have nothing to do.  Or even better, if you have nothing to do you can blog about what your kids do or your pets do.

See…something to do = blogging = happiness.

2.  Something to LOVE.

This one was even easier.

In order to keep a blog you must have some degree of self love.  You must love to talk about yourself, and you must assume that everyone else loves you so much that they want to read about all your thoughts, dreams, opinions and what you had for breakfast.

You love watching your stats climb.  You love getting comments.  You love the love that your loving minions give you comments.  You love that strangers now know what you had for breakfast.

Yourself = Something to love = happiness

3.  Something to Hope For

When you start a blog you have hopes.  You hope to get readers, to get comments, to be internet famous.  You join social networking sites and shitty blog clubs in hopes to get more readers.  You open a cafepress account in hopes that people will buy stuff related to your blog.  You put google ads on your blog in hopes that you’ll make so much money blogging that you can quit your day job.

And, according to the quote I read, where there is hope, there is also happiness.

So there you go, the Grand Essential of Happiness is BLOGGING.

If you’re not ready for that level of happiness you can settle for some mild contentment by posting in the FORUMS.

I guess I will.

Although, nothing might have been an improvement.

There has been talk of a Hot Blogger Calendar. I don’t think I have to tell you what kind of bad idea this is. That is unless they plan to use those cutie little chics that all of the bloggers seem use on their themes. It’s been my assumption that in real life most bloggers are… big. I’m not sure why that might be, but it more often than not it holds true.

But who I am I to criticize, have your contest, I don’t care. Monty even nominated me. I promise that if I win and have to go to New York for a professional photo-shoot for my pictures, that I will send a copy of the calendar to all of you. Yes, that is a threat, but I don’t think that one vote is gonna cut it.

I should make a Shitty Blogger Calendar. Or worse yet, a Girls of Shitty Blogs Club Gone Wild! calendar. Yes, that is also a threat.

I am sick of hating my job. I think I should get new one. If you know anyone that is looking for a brilliant, but grumpy Network Admin/Engineer please let me know.

I think we need some new members. And then we should trick them into signing up for Survivor and then we could get them to do stupid shit for our amusement. And by “we” and “our,” I mean “I” and “Mine.”

In other news, there is no other news. But it seemed like a good segue into plugging the forums. All the cool kids post in the forums. At least they would if they weren’t such lazy fuckers. Other plugs and promotional type shit: Listen to Shitty Blog Radio, every Thursday around 10-ish PM EST. Buy Shitty Brand Merchandise. And You too can buy a Shitty Blogs Club Contributor, just email me at questions@shittyblogsclub.net and tell me what you have to offer.

Fuck you all and have a good holiday weekend.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

It’s a new month and I’m still updating this thing. Will wonders never cease?

Not only that, our very own Monty contributed a dissertation on The Ironic Nature of Blogging in Regards to Self Pity and the Public Display Thereof. Or maybe it was a manifesto on The Duality of Human Nature, Specifically on How the Grass is much less Annoying on My Side of the Fence. Or maybe it was something else altogether… I’m not sure, you’d have to ask someone who actually read it.

We are now up to like a dozen members. Go us. At this rate we will complete the first phase of our take over of the internet by the turn of the millennium.

Maybe someday, I’ll actually update my blog. And maybe someday Mango will learn to put his hostility aside and love other people. Anything is possible.

Rumor has it that we have more posts in the works from other Contributors. I know, the excitement is over whelming. Do your best to control it.

In other news: Blogging still sucks and so does twitter. a-[e] still hates everything. And Shitty Blog Radio is live most Thursday Nights at 10 PM EST (or so.) Okay, none of that is really news, but it seemed like a half subtle way to get some cross promotion in there.

Here’s something I bet you didn’t know. Every once in a while, in the wee hours of the night, Mango feels remorse for the many blog posts he’s deleted. Remorse for deleting them that is, not the shitty things he said. He feels no remorse about that at all.

Remember, only losers refuse to post in the forum.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

You fuckers are stubborn. Or maybe just lazy. Or perhaps mildly brain damaged. It’s hard to tell.

Seriously, you need to sign up. I don’t care if you’ve always been a member, click on the Register link and sign up again.

Come on, Mango signed up again, so did SEV. Hell, a-[e] even registered. I think you can too.

I’ve given up all hope that these shitty fuckers are actually going to contribute any content. Is any one really surprised?

Me either.

The Blogathon didn’t really happen this year. There was a less Day of Blogs thing, but the Blogathon that has happened every year did not this year. Of course, after the cluster fuck that is was last year, it doesn’t really surprise me.

Yet, staying up all night. Blogging 48 meaningless posts. Raising money… at least getting a lot of people to say that they will give money (collecting is trickier.) I kind of miss it. Hell, I should organize something like that. We could call it the Shit A Thon.

Or not… that is likely to give people the wrong idea. On the other hand a shit a thon might be more interesting. How about Shitty Blogs Club Up ALL Night. That could work. I don’t think I have it in me to do a charity event. I could raise some money to give this shitty blog some ducats to run on. Hell, if I had money we could offer real prizes.

It’s nothing I’m ready to do yet, but perhaps this winter.

Also, against my better judgment, I’m thinking about Shitty Blog Survivor Year 3. It will suck extra this time. Look for it in October.

The cool kids all hang at the forum. The really cool ones listen to Shitty Blog Radio.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

Maybe you were once a member. Maybe you weren’t.

None of that matters anymore. The only things that matter are this: Do you have a blog and is it shitty? If you can answer yes to both of those questions, you could be one of us. Click here to find out how.

Do I have to have a blog to join? Yes. Yes you do. What part of Shitty BLOGS club did you misunderstand?
How about myspace? Does that count? No. If you wanna blog, then blog. Wordpress.com and Blogger.com have free blogging. Check it out.
I don’t have a blog what should I do? I don’t really care what you do, but if you’d like to participate without a blog, feel free to register in the forums.

I’ve upgraded everything. To give it that new and shiny look. Hopefully that will distract people from the fact that this club sucks. I mean royally sucks.

Here is some of the good stuff that you can look forward to:

• More content from Specail Shitty Contributors. Really, any day now. (Hint. Hint. Nudge. Nudge.) If you’d like to be a contributor, let me know.
• Shitty Blog Survivor Year 3 — Coming in the fall!
• Shitty Blog Radio. Live Every Thursday!
• Contests and other shit like that.
• And maybe even a super shitty event… but I’m still working out the details on that one.

So… GO SIGN UP NOW!

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

Okay. I admit it. I’m content challenged.
I have many blogs, no content.
And a radio show. With no content.

But I won’t let that stop me. But for this club to be interesting, some content would be probably help. To that end, I’ve scoured the Internet to find contributors to bring you the most informative, creative and humorous content out there.

Unfortunately, all of those people are already booked. So I’ve bullied, bribed and begged my Internet friends and acquaintances to give me a hand. The will provide you with all posts about blogging and the internet and what the hell is wrong with it. There will also likely be some nonsense.

In addition, I will try to write a post every once in a while.

Coming soon: new membership. Yeah. Really. I’m working on it. Still. It’s harder than it looks.

Other shit to look forward to: Shitty Blog Survivor.

So stay tuned, there will be content. I think. While you waiting, Talk Shit in the Forums, Listen to Shitty Blog Radio or buy yourself a new Shirt.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

Well, it’s a lot like the old SBC.

Seriously, I’ll start doing shit about this after I get back from my backpacking trip.

While you are waiting, listen to an episode or two of Shitty Blog Radio or post something in the Talk Shit Forums.

And once I get back, I’ll work on coming up with some new excuses for why I haven’t done anything with this webspace yet.