I have issues.

I know, talk about stating the obvious. It’s what I do, I look around, see what I see and then blurt it out as though no one else can see it.

Amongst the many issues is this one: I can’t stand to be alone. Now add this one: I hate people. Man am I fucked.

It is this juxtaposition of issues that drove me to look for social interaction on the Internet in the first place. This goes back to the early 90’s. I discovered usenet. What a great idea, I thought. People from all over can ‘gather’ to discuss common interests. The first post I made (probably in some Pink Floyd.alt.alt.dumb kind of thread) was flamed by some stupid know-it-all, stoner loser. I guess my post didn’t measure up to his expectations.

The same pattern followed for Bulletin Boards, Chat Rooms, and just about everything on Internet. Even the porn was disappointing.

I always think the Internet will be the perfect answer to this the need people/hate people thing. You’d think that on the web, without the constraints of class, economy and geography, that you’d be able to find a group of people that ‘fit in’ with.

As a rule, I’ve failed miserable in that regard.

Every time I think that I’ve found something that will allow me to interact with other people, it turns out that those people are as narrow minded, boring and general stupid (or more so) than the people I have to deal with in the real world.

And any of you that want to tell me that I could make it work if I wanted to are simply missing the point. Of course I could behave like a complete moron and fit in with the rest of them, but that’s not what I’m looking for at all.

So I sit here and work on my Shitty Blog Sites and make believe that if I control the rules that it will give me what I want. But we all know better.

So despite my social networking, my email contacts, IM contacts, twitter friends and blog buddies when I am feeling alone and want some one to talk… there’s nobody there.

Damn I love the Internet.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!