(A rabid monkey, hopped on caffeine will be standing by to take your call.)

Do you know what I hate?

Well besides clowns, women drivers, rednecks, Starbucks, Work, winter, political correctness, mommy bloggers, sitcoms, country music, New Year’s Resolutions, Birthday Parties, Nascar…

Okay, you get the point.

I hate it when I hear the ‘Media’ talk about blogging. They always reduce it to some form of amateur journalism. Sure there are some bloggers who have used the medium in just that way, and hats off to them. But I don’t think that does blogging justice. I think plenty of people blog just cause they feel like they have something to say.

They may not how to say it, or even what exactly it is. Yet they try to say it.

To me this is, at the same time, what is great and awful about blogging. Literally, millions of people who may or may not have any ability to write; who may or may not have any idea what they want to say; who may or may not have even thought out what it is they are trying to do.

Chances are that they ran across a blog or had a friend that blogs or read about it somewhere and thought to themselves, I can do this… I should do this!

It’s not hard to set one up, you can do it for free, there is nothing stopping you. And so they set them up. And then they blog, whatever that means.

The resultant blogs are as varied as the people who ‘write’ them. These blogs, more often than not, don’t provide some useful or necessary information. They aren’t well written and edited masterpieces. They just are. Occasionally, something wonderful comes out, but mostly it just is.

That’s where the Shitty Blogs Club comes in. We not only understand this, we embrace it. We think blogging is just like life: occasionally interesting, but mostly shitty. On any given day most blogs are shitty. They have more meme than content. They are just plain neglected. They are whiny. They have more style than content. They have more content than style. Some bloggers will get defensive. “My Blog is a big Deal! It is an award winning blog! It is going to a)bring in ad revenue b) land me a book deal c) bring me fame and fortune or d) some other unlikely goal.”

But many of us get it. We know that this blogging is just something we do for good, bad or (most likely) ugly.

This club is for those who get it.

If you join this club, I personally promise that it will never help you make a dime, it will not increase your traffic or SEO, it will never get you noticed by editors, publishers or the Media.

There is only one reason to join this club. It’s to make a stand and say to the so-called blogosphere: I have a blog and it is mostly shitty, and I am proud of it.

This club has been, erm, dormant for a while. It’s time to kick some life back into it. Existing members: recruit new members! You surely know some bloggers who ‘get it,’ send them here! Potential new members: Read the FAQ and then read this. If you still want to join, go here.

Once you are a member, you can enjoy then benefits of Membership: Not listening to Shitty Blog Radio; not posting in the forum; not buying Shitty Blog stuff; and not participating in games and contests.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

I guess I will.

Although, nothing might have been an improvement.

There has been talk of a Hot Blogger Calendar. I don’t think I have to tell you what kind of bad idea this is. That is unless they plan to use those cutie little chics that all of the bloggers seem use on their themes. It’s been my assumption that in real life most bloggers are… big. I’m not sure why that might be, but it more often than not it holds true.

But who I am I to criticize, have your contest, I don’t care. Monty even nominated me. I promise that if I win and have to go to New York for a professional photo-shoot for my pictures, that I will send a copy of the calendar to all of you. Yes, that is a threat, but I don’t think that one vote is gonna cut it.

I should make a Shitty Blogger Calendar. Or worse yet, a Girls of Shitty Blogs Club Gone Wild! calendar. Yes, that is also a threat.

I am sick of hating my job. I think I should get new one. If you know anyone that is looking for a brilliant, but grumpy Network Admin/Engineer please let me know.

I think we need some new members. And then we should trick them into signing up for Survivor and then we could get them to do stupid shit for our amusement. And by “we” and “our,” I mean “I” and “Mine.”

In other news, there is no other news. But it seemed like a good segue into plugging the forums. All the cool kids post in the forums. At least they would if they weren’t such lazy fuckers. Other plugs and promotional type shit: Listen to Shitty Blog Radio, every Thursday around 10-ish PM EST. Buy Shitty Brand Merchandise. And You too can buy a Shitty Blogs Club Contributor, just email me at questions@shittyblogsclub.net and tell me what you have to offer.

Fuck you all and have a good holiday weekend.

Be Proud. Be Shitty!

Maybe you were once a member. Maybe you weren’t.

None of that matters anymore. The only things that matter are this: Do you have a blog and is it shitty? If you can answer yes to both of those questions, you could be one of us. Click here to find out how.

Do I have to have a blog to join? Yes. Yes you do. What part of Shitty BLOGS club did you misunderstand?
How about myspace? Does that count? No. If you wanna blog, then blog. Wordpress.com and Blogger.com have free blogging. Check it out.
I don’t have a blog what should I do? I don’t really care what you do, but if you’d like to participate without a blog, feel free to register in the forums.

I’ve upgraded everything. To give it that new and shiny look. Hopefully that will distract people from the fact that this club sucks. I mean royally sucks.

Here is some of the good stuff that you can look forward to:

• More content from Specail Shitty Contributors. Really, any day now. (Hint. Hint. Nudge. Nudge.) If you’d like to be a contributor, let me know.
• Shitty Blog Survivor Year 3 — Coming in the fall!
• Shitty Blog Radio. Live Every Thursday!
• Contests and other shit like that.
• And maybe even a super shitty event… but I’m still working out the details on that one.

So… GO SIGN UP NOW!

Be Proud. Be Shitty!